This week has been bad. I feel as though my medicines are not working at all anymore. I can't get any doctor to see me soon enough because I am a new patient and new patient appointments take and hour. They all have said if you really feel that bad that you cannot wait to see the doctor I should go to the ER. I am feeling very discouraged and impatient.

For 27 years off and on I have been on anti-depressants. All these medications work on me for short periods of time. I have had several psychotherapists over the years and none have been able to help me. I keep switching therapists hoping that I will find the one that will cure me. Like I had said previously I have tried ECT that has negatively effected my memory and the positive results only lasted a short time. I often feel that there is no hope of me every feeling happiness again. However, when I was discussing this with Kris my therapist she mentioned something to me that I had never heard of before called the brain pacemaker. The brain pacemaker was created to reduce tremors in Parkinson's patients (http://psychcentral.com/news/2012/04/05/brain-pacemaker-relieves-severe-depression/36974.html). Much like a heart pacemaker it uses a low electrical current to provide stimulation deep into the brain thus increasing the production of serotonin. This procedure is costly and as with any surgery there is the possibility severe complications. While this is procedure has produced positive long term results for many patients, I do not think that it is the right fit for me.