In a Deep Blue Funk

 

 

 

I am not a doctor, psychiatrist, or any expert but I have suffered from depression for 27 years. I won't go into detail about how my depression started because although it made me who I am the past cannot change and I have chosen to forgive and let go. Depression is an illness it does not just make someone feel sad and hopeless, it causes physical symptoms as well.  

 

The purpose of this blog is to journal my progress and hopefully help someone else going through the same problems. Over the years I have developed a very low self esteem. Therapy has not worked for me because no matter how much I try or what medication I try I cannot change the opinion I have of myself. I have tried just about every anti-depressant there is and none seem to work for very long. I am what they call treatment resistant. In 2011 I was hospitalized because my depression got so severe that I became suicidal.  I tried electro-convulsive therapy (ECT). ECT worked for a while but it requires periodic maintenance treatments. I am now on Lamictal and Zoloft and the positive effects that I initially felt has worn off. I am trying to be hopeful that the right medicine is out there.  Wish me luck